I wonder if I understand my role in this life. I always get confused when I watch a movie or read a book that relates to "the big picture" and where we all fit in. I mean, I was thinking today, why can't everybody be rich and everyone be able to sit on the beach sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them. But then, who would make the drinks for us all the enjoy? Who would labor to make the glasses that we use and the furniture that we sit on? Who would make our rooms up in the 5-star hotels that we all stay at? God I hate thinking like this.
I have this weird obsession with watching documentaries about serial killers. I don't understand what makes people do that, kill innocent people, but then on the same token, what makes people like myself find them interesting, like I said, weird.
You know what sucks? Craving something for a long time and finally getting it and its not really as good as you wanting it to be. Or even worse, getting it, and then getting it again and again and again, until its not a favorite anymore and you've killed the craving forever, bummer.
Do you think everyone is prejudice? I tend to think so. I mean, I don't think everyone goes around hating, but I think everyone is a little prejudice in their own way, whether its something as simple as being the only white or black person in a large group of people, or whether its something as derogatory as being a member of a group such as the KKK. There are exceptions to this I think, I think there is a certain percentage that feel totally opposite and would rather be with the other race, which I think is great if that's what that person really wants. I personally find using the "N" word vulgar and have taught my child not to use it, however, I think that by everyone freaking out about it, it gives the word more power than it deserves. Also, whats this shit about a black person can call another black person this and its OK, bullshit. If its a derogatory work, then lets everyone treat it that way, I do. I think that the PC thing for all white people these days (it seems) is to worry about their thoughts and beliefs, I mean how many people have gotten fired for their offensive remarks and thoughts. I saw Kelly Clarkston on TV the other day and she said something kindve stupid and made the comment "I'm soo white", like she blamed her ethnicity for saying something dumb. Yeah, its fucked up, some of the things people say, and when you really know someone and are alone with them and find out there "real" thoughts on racism or whatever, but, its turned into (I think) something that now I even worry about things I so. You know what, those people are numorous in the white and black crowds. I was talking to a group of mixed race people and made the comment "you people" and after the meeting several of the black member of the meeting stopped by and told me I was being rude by saying that, christ. Yeah, i'm not black, and I haven't had to go through what a black person has had to go through, but hey, i'm fat have they had to go through elementary school with everyone pointing that out to them? i'm a American Indian desendant, and I think it was wrong the way they were treated when this country was founded, but hey I don't hold a grudge about it. Things like the N.A.A.C.P. really rub the average working class white person wrong, what if there were a organization called the N.A.A.W.P.? Shit would hit the fan. This may sound like i'm a very prejudice person, but honestly, I just would like for everyone to see everyone elses side without freaking out about it. You see, using the "N" word is wrong, but what I think is MUCH more important is treating everyone with decency and kindness all the time. If everyone did that, all the time, a word like that wouldn't even be in anyones vocabulary. I have had this conversation with a black friend of mine, and we always disagree, he always tells me that he wouldn't have a problem with his daughter dating a white kid, and he feels just as comfortable around white people as he does black people. that's all good, but when I see him away from the plant, 100% of the time he is with black friends. I'm trying not to sound bitter or whatever hear, I know I am, I just sometimes hate being blamed for being a part of an rich, uncaring, self richeous race, when I don't feel like I am. Do you know when the black ladies at work get paid, they say they gotta go pay the "white man" in reference to paying their bills. i've been told my race has discriminated the black race for so long that now the word and meaning of the word "BLACK" is now bad. Like the bad guy always wears black, when anything bad happens its a black day. For the record, my opinion is that I think there are good people and bad people. I think that you don't have to be white or black or yellow or brown to be either good or bad. I think its in a persons words AND actions that judgment should be formed about that person. And I do think Rodney King was right, why can't we all just get along? OK, i'm done venting, sorry.
Happy Thanksgiving.
25 Movie Stars Whom I Admire (In no particular order):
Audrey Hepburn
Clint Eastwood
Charles Bronson
James Stewart
Robert Deniro
Harrison Ford
Kevin Costner
Daniel Day-Lewis
Dennis Hopper
Marlon Brando
Tom Cruise
John Cusack
John Travolta
Gene Hackman
Nicolas Cage
Morgan Freeman
Mel Gibson
Robert Redforn
Paul Newman
Denzel Washington
Steve McQueen
Brad Pitt
Sean Connery
Tom Hanks
Al Pacino
What I'm Listening To Right Now: When You Really Love Someone - Alicia Keys - The Diary of Alicia Keys (04:10)]
